19 Comments

I just started reading "my father's dragon" to my 3yo as our first chapter book and I did worry the stressful adventure elements would make her nervous. She loves the book and we've read it a few times already two weeks in. This topic could not be more timely!

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Interesting, I've never thought of My Father's Dragon as a fairy tale, but I think you're right -- a modern one, for sure, but it has many of the same elements.

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"That is: sometimes we all feel like we’re lost in a dark forest with no way out."

I loved that line so much. I think that also helps explain why I've been drawn to darker books ever since I was a kid... And the distinctions between folk and fairy tales were very helpful. My 6yo was just asking me what makes a fairy tale a fairy tale so this is perfect timing!

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Really happy to see this post, Sarah! It's an important topic. And yes, Bettelheim is the voice! And "subjective and ever-changing" is key. Very good.

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I can’t wait to see your traditional recommends! I love some of the updated versions but resonate with what you said in an earlier post, that the updated don’t make much sense without an understanding of the original!

I sometimes wonder about how the tales were used as warnings when different things were a threat and life was pretty different from ours today…but reading how to apply it metaphorically also makes so much sense!

Have you read Philip Pullman’s Fairy Tales from the Grimm Brothers? He’s such a fun author (His Dark Materials) and his take on fairy tales holds to the original and gives his reason for any shifts and changes. It is a delight to read.

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I have -- so good. I love the His Dark Materials trilogy deeply -- it was my Harry Potter, before Harry Potter (and I still think they're better, but that's another rant for another day).

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Girl same. I love them so much. Though I was late to the trilogy, it is one I’ll reread any day.

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“Fairy tales are more than true: not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten.”

― Neil Gaiman, Coraline

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👏👏👏👏

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Bettelheim + Sarah = 🙌

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YOU 😘

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This is exciting! I'm super into the idea of slightly creepy folk/fairy tales for my 4 y.o. daughter, but we recently read Hansel and Gretel and it's just all about... a mean stepmother making the dad literally abandon his kids in the woods??? Which, to me, is WAY scarier than any of the action that happens with the witch! Like, I was giving my daughter reassurances that the abandonment would never happen, and totally not worried about any of the witch drama scaring her, haha

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The trope of stepfamilies -- mothers, fathers, siblings, etc. -- is often used in fairy tales as a stand-in to address that very thing: fear of abandonment, fear of rejection, fear of being ostracized from the tribe, etc.

It's really wild when you start digging beneath the meaning of it all -- and honestly, I doubt the original tellers of these tales created them with these things in mind, they're simply part of the human psyche, common archetypes that exist in the collective unconscious, which is why they have lasted so long, *and* why they resonate so deeply.

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Ooh can't wait for these fairy tale recs. My kids enjoy listening to Brave and Tangled on their Yoto players and there are definitely some elements in those stories.

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I love Brave so much it's not even funny 😆

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I AM SQUEALING! I cannot wait to see the gems you share!

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I hit subscribe so fast. I remember reading about this book and it’s case once, and I need to remember it now with a highly sensitive three-year-old in our house. Containment in this way can be a gift. Thanks for writing!

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It's a really dense and difficult read -- I'm not kidding when I say it took me a year to read it -- but the ideas are intriguing, and I think they are especially useful for people who shy away from folk and fairy tales for all the reasons Bettleheim argued *for* them. (Not to mention: we can't hide the world from our children, so let's better prepare them for the darkness that exists but helping them encounter it first in the safety of our arms.)

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This is my thing! So excited. Thrift books better get ready for me!

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