It's always a bit interesting with my kids. My son has loved reading from infancy--he clearly just loved hearing our voices, not the compelling narrative arc of "Goodnight Goodnight Construction Site" 😉 But he was an early reader and remains a passionate book-lover. Though he definitely has preferences, he will read pretty much anything. My daughter is much more particular. I've found that she's particularly drawn to more humorous books. She's also convinced that she's a doctor (not convinced that she's GOING to be doctor, but actually believes that she currently IS a doctor), so books about doctors/hospitals seem to go over well too 🤷♀️
We are in a rough in-between. I struggle in general to find books that "work" for our family, where the entirety of both bedtimes falls to me, but my kids are such different people at such different stages. They share almost 0 common interests. They are both boys, 4 and 7; they share a room, and bedtime reading is a group activity for a variety of reasons. The 7-year old loves chapter books and is a highly logical person who hasn't really been grabbed by any sort of fantasy or overly fictitious type of book yet. He likes books that feel like real life; when he was younger and I was able to read to him one-on-one he loved Ramona books and the like.
The 4-year old is rambunctious and doesn't wind down, ever, as a matter of course. He just tornadoes ever further upwards into sleep, which makes the bedtime routine chaos rather than calming. I have him color while I am reading, to give him output as well as an "input," but I still need to keep the actual reading time somewhat brief and efficient. Ramona-length chapters are too long; at that length, the situation devolves completely. I have actually considered having him just jump on a toddler trampoline during story time, since that is the kind of physical feedback he seems to need. Anyway, he is, you know, 4, so books that are overly complex in world-building or plot are not super doable. He would vastly prefer to do 1-3 picture books per night.
Right now, in general, my setup is to try to give everyone a bit of what they need by having the 7-year old read a picture book to me and the 4-year old (in which case it is a fairly simple picture book), and then I read a chapter of a longer book to both of them. But I usually end up feeling like I am choosing books that - well, it's like that old saying about compromise - nobody really gets what they WANT, everybody gets something they NEED. I'm not reading chapter books my older son would probably MOST enjoy, but they aren't what my younger son would most enjoy either - they're just what's most doable.
I think our most successful recent run of chapter books was the "Toys Go Out" trilogy - nobody was too bored due to too complex/too simple issues, everybody took some things away, everybody laughed at least once, etc. I am looking for the next "sweet spot" book like that, at the moment. But I often find myself getting demoralized because I wish I could be reading stuff like The Wild Robot or things that are more of an emotional stretch for my older guy, while also wishing I could just indulge my younger guy a bit more. I was an early and enthusiastic reader, and my 7-year old is not (which is okay!) but he's rounding that cusp into reading independently and I really want to support and nurture him in this moment - by both providing him with books he likes to read on his own and also by sharing more complex books with him. I feel like I'm failing often, and get pretty down about it sometimes.
For myself! Just in case that counts, too. I am FINALLY reading My Brilliant Friend by Elena Ferrante, after being sucked hardcore into The Lost Daughter, and I'm LOVING IT.
Oh, Ally -- thank you so much for this comment. You are NOT alone -- I hear this exact situation from people all the time. It's a hard juggling act.
It sounds like you're doing the very best you can, especially with a little guy who needs some physical movement during a wind-down time -- my eldest has some sensory processing struggles so I have learned over the years to put aside what I think it (whatever "it" may be) "should" look like, and accept what works better for all of us. That's to say, if you think it might be helpful to let him jump on a trampoline, especially if it would possibly draw out your ability to read longer things, let him jump!
That said: you mentioned that both bedtimes fall to you. (Me too, btw.) Could you read to them separately? Not necessarily at bedtime. Maybe 15-20 minutes sometime during the day with your older son, and then picture books at bedtime for everyone -- that way your 7yo is getting what he needs AND wants, you two get to share some special time reading a book that's too much right now for your younger child, but you're also not neglecting your 4yo's totally developmentally appropriate desire for picture books.
My other idea is longer picture books. There are TONS of excellent picture books out there for elementary-aged kids -- I am thinking nonfiction or biography, which would speak to your 7yo's logical brain but might also please your youngest (even if only for a little while, before he steps aside to get his other input).
Lastly, you could give your older son audiobooks, so he's listening to books that are well above what you're reading to them at bedtime, and simply focus your energies on your 4yo before sleep. (I often read the book that my eldest is listening to on audio so we can discuss it, which might be a way for you two to share the experience without physically reading the same book together at the same time.) There are a lot of benefits to continuing to read picture books (I'm going to be writing about this in the next few months) so you're not short-changing your 7yo -- it exposes him to a ton of vocabulary, it supports his burgeoning reading skills, and it's comforting for kids who are slowly moving away from picture books to know that they can go back to them at any time, even every night.
Don't get too down on yourself -- you're doing a great job, and the fact that you haven't given up despite your very real challenges speaks volumes about your dedication to raising readers. Try some different things (even if they don't seem like "bedtime" things, like the trampoline -- you know your son better than anyone else; trust yourself!) and don't lose hope. Your efforts matter so much.
Thank you for this! I think I may build a morning reading time in with my older guy - that’s a good idea. There’s like 15 or 20 minutes in the mornings before I have to start getting the lunches etc prepped and mornings are when everyone is best able to be calm anyway. Thank you for prompting me to think about that and find that little cranny of time!
My 4 year old and I are alternating between Gerald And Piggie books and chapters of Ramona. She also adores a picture book called Carol and the Pickle Toad. My 8 year old is working her way through all of Calvin & Hobbes (constant giggling) as well as (still) various Warriors series books. She does a lot of comfort re-reading - a graphic novel called Sylvie is the current favorite there.
We are back to a lot of Mr. Putter and Tabby (the sweetest books, truly, I love that they center on older people since so few books do), and my older daughter (7) and I are reading the Upside-Down Magic series, which I also love.
Yes, the letter! It reminded me that the books from my childhood that have stuck with me are all sad and poignant and deal with challenging events in life - Where the Red Fern Grows, Bridge to Terabithia, The Giving Tree, Harry Potter.
Upside-Down Magic, oh I can't wait to hear what you think. My 7-year-old is too scared of Harry Potter and these satisfy the "magic" element and deal in a great way with differences and pre-teen social dynamics. I really love them.
Ooooh, now you've really piqued my interest. Putting the first one on hold right now!
(Also, I wonder what "the books that have stuck with us from childhood" say about us. For me it's Harriet the Spy, and other girl-loner books like Mandy by Julie Andrews Edwards, A Room Made of Windows by Eleanor Cameron, the Ramona series. Maybe this is a topic for a future thread 🤔 because this fascinates me, and I would love to hear from more people about this!)
- Little Wolf's First Howling by Laura McGee Kvasnovsky & Kate Harvey McGee, a random library find that's really cute and funny (and has quite the intrinsic motivation message)
- Where the mountain meets the moon, as per your recommendation :) First time I'm reading a chapter book with 5yo, and we're both enjoying it more than I expected
My kids (3 and 6) and I have really been enjoying the "Mother Bruce" picture book series. The stories are both funny and tender.
Those are great ones! (And thanks for commenting, Jessica, when I know you’re not much of a commenter ☺️)
It's always a bit interesting with my kids. My son has loved reading from infancy--he clearly just loved hearing our voices, not the compelling narrative arc of "Goodnight Goodnight Construction Site" 😉 But he was an early reader and remains a passionate book-lover. Though he definitely has preferences, he will read pretty much anything. My daughter is much more particular. I've found that she's particularly drawn to more humorous books. She's also convinced that she's a doctor (not convinced that she's GOING to be doctor, but actually believes that she currently IS a doctor), so books about doctors/hospitals seem to go over well too 🤷♀️
That’s adorable.
We are in a rough in-between. I struggle in general to find books that "work" for our family, where the entirety of both bedtimes falls to me, but my kids are such different people at such different stages. They share almost 0 common interests. They are both boys, 4 and 7; they share a room, and bedtime reading is a group activity for a variety of reasons. The 7-year old loves chapter books and is a highly logical person who hasn't really been grabbed by any sort of fantasy or overly fictitious type of book yet. He likes books that feel like real life; when he was younger and I was able to read to him one-on-one he loved Ramona books and the like.
The 4-year old is rambunctious and doesn't wind down, ever, as a matter of course. He just tornadoes ever further upwards into sleep, which makes the bedtime routine chaos rather than calming. I have him color while I am reading, to give him output as well as an "input," but I still need to keep the actual reading time somewhat brief and efficient. Ramona-length chapters are too long; at that length, the situation devolves completely. I have actually considered having him just jump on a toddler trampoline during story time, since that is the kind of physical feedback he seems to need. Anyway, he is, you know, 4, so books that are overly complex in world-building or plot are not super doable. He would vastly prefer to do 1-3 picture books per night.
Right now, in general, my setup is to try to give everyone a bit of what they need by having the 7-year old read a picture book to me and the 4-year old (in which case it is a fairly simple picture book), and then I read a chapter of a longer book to both of them. But I usually end up feeling like I am choosing books that - well, it's like that old saying about compromise - nobody really gets what they WANT, everybody gets something they NEED. I'm not reading chapter books my older son would probably MOST enjoy, but they aren't what my younger son would most enjoy either - they're just what's most doable.
I think our most successful recent run of chapter books was the "Toys Go Out" trilogy - nobody was too bored due to too complex/too simple issues, everybody took some things away, everybody laughed at least once, etc. I am looking for the next "sweet spot" book like that, at the moment. But I often find myself getting demoralized because I wish I could be reading stuff like The Wild Robot or things that are more of an emotional stretch for my older guy, while also wishing I could just indulge my younger guy a bit more. I was an early and enthusiastic reader, and my 7-year old is not (which is okay!) but he's rounding that cusp into reading independently and I really want to support and nurture him in this moment - by both providing him with books he likes to read on his own and also by sharing more complex books with him. I feel like I'm failing often, and get pretty down about it sometimes.
For myself! Just in case that counts, too. I am FINALLY reading My Brilliant Friend by Elena Ferrante, after being sucked hardcore into The Lost Daughter, and I'm LOVING IT.
Oh, Ally -- thank you so much for this comment. You are NOT alone -- I hear this exact situation from people all the time. It's a hard juggling act.
It sounds like you're doing the very best you can, especially with a little guy who needs some physical movement during a wind-down time -- my eldest has some sensory processing struggles so I have learned over the years to put aside what I think it (whatever "it" may be) "should" look like, and accept what works better for all of us. That's to say, if you think it might be helpful to let him jump on a trampoline, especially if it would possibly draw out your ability to read longer things, let him jump!
That said: you mentioned that both bedtimes fall to you. (Me too, btw.) Could you read to them separately? Not necessarily at bedtime. Maybe 15-20 minutes sometime during the day with your older son, and then picture books at bedtime for everyone -- that way your 7yo is getting what he needs AND wants, you two get to share some special time reading a book that's too much right now for your younger child, but you're also not neglecting your 4yo's totally developmentally appropriate desire for picture books.
My other idea is longer picture books. There are TONS of excellent picture books out there for elementary-aged kids -- I am thinking nonfiction or biography, which would speak to your 7yo's logical brain but might also please your youngest (even if only for a little while, before he steps aside to get his other input).
Lastly, you could give your older son audiobooks, so he's listening to books that are well above what you're reading to them at bedtime, and simply focus your energies on your 4yo before sleep. (I often read the book that my eldest is listening to on audio so we can discuss it, which might be a way for you two to share the experience without physically reading the same book together at the same time.) There are a lot of benefits to continuing to read picture books (I'm going to be writing about this in the next few months) so you're not short-changing your 7yo -- it exposes him to a ton of vocabulary, it supports his burgeoning reading skills, and it's comforting for kids who are slowly moving away from picture books to know that they can go back to them at any time, even every night.
Don't get too down on yourself -- you're doing a great job, and the fact that you haven't given up despite your very real challenges speaks volumes about your dedication to raising readers. Try some different things (even if they don't seem like "bedtime" things, like the trampoline -- you know your son better than anyone else; trust yourself!) and don't lose hope. Your efforts matter so much.
Thank you for this! I think I may build a morning reading time in with my older guy - that’s a good idea. There’s like 15 or 20 minutes in the mornings before I have to start getting the lunches etc prepped and mornings are when everyone is best able to be calm anyway. Thank you for prompting me to think about that and find that little cranny of time!
You’re welcome 💛 That’s a great idea and a wonderful little pocket of time. Let me know how it goes!
My 4 year old and I are alternating between Gerald And Piggie books and chapters of Ramona. She also adores a picture book called Carol and the Pickle Toad. My 8 year old is working her way through all of Calvin & Hobbes (constant giggling) as well as (still) various Warriors series books. She does a lot of comfort re-reading - a graphic novel called Sylvie is the current favorite there.
This all sounds like a lot of fun, Virginia.
I have been trying to get my hands on Sylvie for a long time! I might just have to order it.
Carol and the Pickle Toad stumped me, so I'm glad to hear it has an audience. It's so cute (and I do like the message, it just didn't grab me).
The PB "Mice and Beans" by Pam Munoz Ryan is a big hit right now. We've also been enjoying The Lighthouse Family Series by Cynthia Rylant.
Oh, I LOVE Mice and Beans -- it's such a cute and clever story.
And yes, The Lighthouse Family series is pure gold.
We are back to a lot of Mr. Putter and Tabby (the sweetest books, truly, I love that they center on older people since so few books do), and my older daughter (7) and I are reading the Upside-Down Magic series, which I also love.
Separately, did you hear the interview with Kate DiCamillo on the OnBeing podcast? Sarah, I think you'd love it. https://onbeing.org/programs/kate-dicamillo-for-the-eight-year-old-in-you/
Someone sent me the Kate DiCamillo interview and yes, wow -- that letter she wrote to Matt de la Peña? Breathtaking. What an amazing human.
I love Mr. Putter and Tabby for the same reason -- we need more books that positively portray older people, for sure.
I've never heard of the Upside-Down Magic series -- yay!
Yes, the letter! It reminded me that the books from my childhood that have stuck with me are all sad and poignant and deal with challenging events in life - Where the Red Fern Grows, Bridge to Terabithia, The Giving Tree, Harry Potter.
Upside-Down Magic, oh I can't wait to hear what you think. My 7-year-old is too scared of Harry Potter and these satisfy the "magic" element and deal in a great way with differences and pre-teen social dynamics. I really love them.
Ooooh, now you've really piqued my interest. Putting the first one on hold right now!
(Also, I wonder what "the books that have stuck with us from childhood" say about us. For me it's Harriet the Spy, and other girl-loner books like Mandy by Julie Andrews Edwards, A Room Made of Windows by Eleanor Cameron, the Ramona series. Maybe this is a topic for a future thread 🤔 because this fascinates me, and I would love to hear from more people about this!)
We're enjoying:
- Little Wolf's First Howling by Laura McGee Kvasnovsky & Kate Harvey McGee, a random library find that's really cute and funny (and has quite the intrinsic motivation message)
- Where the mountain meets the moon, as per your recommendation :) First time I'm reading a chapter book with 5yo, and we're both enjoying it more than I expected
- Papa sur la lune by Adrien Albert, which I think isn't translated into English https://www.youtube.com/embed/ApV9OHoPcJ8
These are great, Tania! I'm so glad you're enjoying Where the Mountain Meets the Moon.
Papa sur la lune... Papa from the Moon?
Papa on the moon!
Ah! It looks super cute.