If you don’t know what I’m talking about when I say “obstacles to reading,” if you don’t have a child (or more than one child) who has struggled in any way with learning to read, if your response to other caregivers who are dealing with this issue is to say things like, “Oh, my kids never had a problem! They were reading Harry Potter in 1st grade and will just disappear for hours with a book!”: thank you for stopping by, but this post is not for you.
If, however, you know intimately what I mean by “obstacles to reading” (of any kind); if you’ve ever sat in parent-teacher conferences and been confronted with a chart full of bright red lines well below other, less dramatically colored lines, with the words HIGH RISK written all over the paper and some BS about how this will negatively impact your child’s ability to attend to college (true story, and let me be abundantly clear that this is NOT a helpful metric for anyone at all); if you’ve ever cried over your child’s struggles with reading; if you’ve ever buried your face in soft objects (throw pillows, coats hanging in a closet, the comforter on your bed — ask me how many times I’ve done this) so you can sob without anyone under the age of 10 hearing you: I see you fully and completely. Welcome. Come sit right next to me. This post is for you.
If your child has experienced zero obstacles to reading, I am truly happy for you. I also want to gently suggest that your kiddo’s abilities and success probably have far less to do with everything you’ve done right and more to do with development and luck. Please be gentle with the rest of us.
To those of you with children who have experienced obstacles to reading, maybe even many: hear me when I say this: it’s not your fault. You can do everything within your considerable power to raise readers, build an outstanding culture of reading in your home, and still have a child who struggles with reading.
Look at me ✋ I’ve been writing a newsletter focused on this exact topic for a long time now. I’ve taken all my own advice and then some, I’ve done the same things with and for both my kids — and I have one child who has learned to read seemingly effortlessly and one who has come upon obstacle after obstacle, for years.
There are myriad reasons children encounter obstacles to reading:
Insufficient instruction and /or ineffective reading curriculum
Lack of consistency and support in oral language experience and literacy development at home
Limited comprehension
Speech, language, and/or hearing impairment or delays
Learning disabilities and differences — e.g., dyslexia and other visual processing issues
Attention disorders — e.g., ADHD
Limited (or even zero) access to books and other reading material
Language barriers — e.g., English is not their first language
Inflexible rules or guidelines at school — e.g., they’re only allowed to read books at their “level”
(This list isn’t even exhaustive.)
The good news is that once identified, most of these obstacles can be overcome — often with outside support, usually available through school or even your pediatrician’s office. If any of the above applies to you — or even if you just suspect it applies — your work is to advocate for your child and be absolutely relentless in getting them the support they need. (You’re not alone — in 2023, Alex Tower Ewers wrote a helpful and encouraging post for this newsletter, Our Journey with Dyslexia, that you should definitely read.)
The following tips are for those of you with a child whose obstacles don’t appear on the list above. They’re struggling, or they’re reluctant — there are simply obstacles. (You’re also not alone.)
1. Take the pressure off
As veteran K-1st grade teacher Allison Prajapati told us back in January:
There is so much pressure on the kids to all learn at the same time. Kids learn to read at different times (just like babies get teeth at different ages, learn to walk at different ages, get potty trained at different ages). We can’t expect everyone to learn to read simultaneously and in the same way.
Learning to read — and progressing in reading skills — is developmental, and it doesn’t do anyone any good to put pressure on kids about it. (Can you imagine doing this when your child was a baby learning to do anything at all? Think of it the same way — because it really is the same thing.)
So be patient. Do whatever it takes to maintain that patience. With very few exceptions, everyone learns to read eventually. No matter how scared you are, have faith: it will happen.
And stop comparing your kid to other kids. It doesn’t matter if your neighbor’s son can identify all 26 letters at 3yo, or someone you follow on Instagram’s kid is blasting through chapter books in kindergarten, or your best friend’s daughter is years “ahead” of yours. None of it matters. All the comparison does is — ope! — steal your joy. So make the radical choice and don’t let it.
2. Provide time, space, and support for reading
Sometimes kids who can read just don’t like to read, and you know what? Not everyone is going to be a reader, and that’s fine. (Yes, I am really saying it — that’s fine.)
But if you think your reluctant reader — teacher and author Donalyn Miller calls them “developing readers” and “dormant readers,” that is, readers who are still coming into themselves, readers who are still emerging — could totally be a reader with a little more support, it’s time to assess your environment.
Is your child so busy there’s no time for reading? Is there so much happening in their schedule and in their week that even if they wanted to, they have no extra cycles for picking up a book? Are you providing time?
Does your child have a comfortable place to read? Is there adequate lighting in this area? Is this an inviting and welcoming space? (Would you want to plop down or cozy up there?) Are you providing space?
Do you have a culture of reading in your home? Are books readily available? (You don’t have to own a single one — that’s what libraries are for!) Do you have family reading routines? Do your children see you reading? Are you supporting your child’s reading?
When it comes to overcoming obstacles to reading, practice matters a whole lot — and it’s pretty hard to practice if you have no time, no space, and no support.
I’m not saying these are easy things to figure out or fix, but these are things that are under your control.
3. Read aloud, read aloud, read aloud
What emerging, struggling, reluctant, developing, and dormant readers all need is more reading aloud. Period, the end.
4. Promote choice
We all want our kids to read the best books on their own — high-quality literature that engages their hearts and minds, stretches their brains, makes them better people — and they totally will. Eventually.
In the meantime, don’t be a snob about it.
On the way to amazing books, they’ll probably want to read some garbage. (Define “garbage” as you will — we all have different parameters.)
If you want to raise a reader of any kind — and especially if you have one who is coming up on obstacle after obstacle — let them read what they want.
I’ve said it over and over, and I’ll keep saying it: choice is the right of every reader, no matter their age.
Jacques Barzun, a teacher, scholar, author, and philosopher of education, wrote in his 1945 book, Teacher in America:
“Let me say at once that all books are good and that consequently a child be allowed to read everything he lays his hands on. [Formulaic] trash is excellent; great works…are admirable… The ravenous appetite will digest stones unharmed. Never mind the need to discriminate; it comes in it own time.”
The ravenous appetite will digest stones unharmed. Yes!
Let them choose.
5. Don’t be afraid to ask for help — but don’t panic, either
If you think there’s something deeper going on with your kiddo — if learning to read or reading past the learning stage is consistently difficult, if the obstacle (or several) is excruciating or simply too large to surmount, even if you have no “proof” beyond a gut feeling — don’t be afraid to ask for help. The best-case scenario is that you seek an evaluation and everything is fine. A close second is finding out there is, in fact, something else happening, in which case you now know and can do something about it.
But don’t panic, either. Readers develop at all different rates and times, in all different ways. So ask yourself if you think something is truly wrong, or if you just wish your kid was learning faster or traveling the same path as other kids.
No matter what, don’t give up on your child. As readers — and as humans — they need you to always be for them, solidly on their side, no matter what. Often, the best way to overcome obstacles to reading is to give kids time. They’ll get better as they go. And so will you.
Has your child encountered obstacles to reading? If so, how did you help (or try to help) them? What worked? What didn’t?
(This is also a welcoming space to admit you’re in obstacle hell — despite doing everything “right,” HOO BOY, have I been there, and I will swaddle you with my words, my friend.)
Sarah
I totally agree about letting kids read what they want and not stressing about the quality of it. Letting them choose gives them ownership and makes such a big difference.
I have 2 kids-one loves reading, the other hates it. I’m trying to accept it.