Sarah, I am so sorry to hear that your beloved grandmother is no longer able to live alone.
Please take whatever time you need without giving consistency / paid subscriptions / any obligatory feelings relating to Can we read? another thought. Seriously. I think I can speak for all of your subscribers when I say that we'll be here after you take whatever break you need, scheduled or unscheduled. Take care of yourself and your family and I'm sending a hug.
Dear Sarah, speaking as someone who has been through a similar experience, I should like to say the following in the hope that it's helpful in some way.
1. It's amazing that your grandmother has (a) attained such an age and (b) been able to live on her own until now. Although, if my experience is anything to go by, my in-laws liked to say they were managing to be independent, but if hadn't been for us it would have all collapsed like a house of cards. Still.
2. Assisted living will mean (a) your gran will be well looked after and (b) you won't have phone calls at silly-o-clock with a bit of luck. On both counts you will be less pushed and stressed.
3. You've done amazingly well to do so much, especially in advance. I found that I had to do things between crises, or ahead of crises, so things would be in place when the next crisis came. For example, magazine editors are always amazed by how fast I can read and review a book, but part of it is that I didn't feel I could afford to take it more slowly: I didn't want to be in a last minute panic about not hitting a deadline.
4. I found that, reluctantly, I had to be realistic. I went from publishing 4 or 5 times a week on each of two blogs (not Substack) to once or twice a week. Not ideal, but needs must. More generally, I started to not do things that were important but not mission critical, in order to conserve my energy.
5. A greater proportion of my posts became one of the following:
* On this day, eg What was I writing about on 4th January 2015? I'd then add a sentence or two along the lines of "how things change"/"How things have not changed", plus delete dead links, etc
* Updates of older articles, eg with a few more links or added wisdom ()!) from having become a few years older :-)
* Some book reviews became "Quick looks"
6. I don't know how old you are, Sarah, but I think most people understand that we're the so-called "sandwich generation": parents needing looking after and kids needing looking after.
The weight of it all. Even the weight of the davenport and memorabilia and the weight those items carry. Like the reasonable readers your readers are, we will always wait for the next chapter of your newsletter, whenever that may be.
Thanks for the vulnerability. I'm newer here, but it definitely seems like you've built something that'll last. Plus, most people are willing to support someone who's open about what they're going through.
Also, that Curious George book looks great. I can imagine it would lead to A LOT of counting, haha. But that's not such a bad thing.
There's a lot here. The heaviness. The pull of your beloved grandma and your beloved newsletter, your kiddos and hubby. So many plates that you're spinning.
We love the Papi book--so many topics covered in only a few pages.
On a different note, lots of love to you and your family on what seems like a difficult time for you all. Remember to give yourself grace. I’m sure people will understand with whatever you choose to do with the newsletter given your circumstances.
Sarah, this appeared in my inbox on what would have been my dad's 96th birthday. A few years ago, we had to move him into an assisted living facility that was beautiful and great but also, for him, a huge change and a difficult one. Everything you describe in this newsletter resonates deeply with me, from wondering how to keep things going, to realizing that things must give, and helping to move your grandmother into her new home and dealing with all that remains in the home she lived in for all those years. You've had so much good advice and caring input from the others here so I will just say yes yes yes to all of them. Don't worry about your readers. We will not go anywhere. Especially when you take the time to write so beautifully and vulnerably about a time of life that we all go through and conflicts that face us all. I wish you peace and ease in the days ahead and I wish your grandmother peace and contentment in her new home.
I loved this sentence you wrote: “And because, frankly, I really love it when I see other people treating their energy as a precious and sacred resource, even if I am not at the point of doing that myself.” I feel similarly and I really hope you can take all the time you need.
Adding my voice to the chorus sending you love, appreciation, and support. I most trust writers who take time away when they need to. You clearly put so much into this newsletter, and we, your readers, can tell. There's no amount of time you can step away for that will reduce the value of what you do!
I don’t have much meaningful advice to add but just wanted to chime in with my support and admiration. Of your work and your openness, and also, of your grandmother (101!). She is so lucky to have you to help with this transition. I hope it all goes as well as it can :)
I just went through this in August, moving my grandmother from her house, where she has lived alone for more than 5 decades, to an assisted living facility, and it is exhausting and hard and brings up so many feelings. I am sending all my love to you, and let me know if there's anything I can do to support you. We are all here for you and encourage you to take a break when needed.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother, but you are doing the best for her, even though it is difficult for you and your family. Take care and take the time you need to do what you need to do. Most especially, also take time to take care of yourself so you are able to take care of others. I'll be thinking about you in the months to come.
Heart and hugs to you. This type of post is why I love reading your writing and I will support you no matter what you write about, and no matter how long you have to step away from writing because of life. (Or whatever form you cling to writing because of life.) I’ve watched (read) you create two beautiful bodies of work over time on Tiny Letter and Substack, and I have a lot of faith whatever comes of this year in your personal life, your grandma life, your work life - will weave itself into the shape of your writing to (and what you think you provide for us) in the exact way it is supposed to be. Take care of you. Rest through this exhausting transition (emotional and physical) and know we’re all here for you in whatever way you choose to show up (or take a break). Thank you for always sharing to vulnerably.
The pressure on women to do and be everything, no matter how essential the work, no matter the source, is phenomenal. Do take care.
Sarah, I am so sorry to hear that your beloved grandmother is no longer able to live alone.
Please take whatever time you need without giving consistency / paid subscriptions / any obligatory feelings relating to Can we read? another thought. Seriously. I think I can speak for all of your subscribers when I say that we'll be here after you take whatever break you need, scheduled or unscheduled. Take care of yourself and your family and I'm sending a hug.
Dear Sarah, speaking as someone who has been through a similar experience, I should like to say the following in the hope that it's helpful in some way.
1. It's amazing that your grandmother has (a) attained such an age and (b) been able to live on her own until now. Although, if my experience is anything to go by, my in-laws liked to say they were managing to be independent, but if hadn't been for us it would have all collapsed like a house of cards. Still.
2. Assisted living will mean (a) your gran will be well looked after and (b) you won't have phone calls at silly-o-clock with a bit of luck. On both counts you will be less pushed and stressed.
3. You've done amazingly well to do so much, especially in advance. I found that I had to do things between crises, or ahead of crises, so things would be in place when the next crisis came. For example, magazine editors are always amazed by how fast I can read and review a book, but part of it is that I didn't feel I could afford to take it more slowly: I didn't want to be in a last minute panic about not hitting a deadline.
4. I found that, reluctantly, I had to be realistic. I went from publishing 4 or 5 times a week on each of two blogs (not Substack) to once or twice a week. Not ideal, but needs must. More generally, I started to not do things that were important but not mission critical, in order to conserve my energy.
5. A greater proportion of my posts became one of the following:
* On this day, eg What was I writing about on 4th January 2015? I'd then add a sentence or two along the lines of "how things change"/"How things have not changed", plus delete dead links, etc
* Updates of older articles, eg with a few more links or added wisdom ()!) from having become a few years older :-)
* Some book reviews became "Quick looks"
6. I don't know how old you are, Sarah, but I think most people understand that we're the so-called "sandwich generation": parents needing looking after and kids needing looking after.
7. I'm not a religious fanatic, but some things do help, such as Ecclesiastes: https://www.bible.com/bible/116/ECC.3.1-8.NLT -- Nobody can be doing all the time
Anyway, I hope this isn't a case of teaching grandmother to suck eggs, and I wish you all the best
The weight of it all. Even the weight of the davenport and memorabilia and the weight those items carry. Like the reasonable readers your readers are, we will always wait for the next chapter of your newsletter, whenever that may be.
Thanks for the vulnerability. I'm newer here, but it definitely seems like you've built something that'll last. Plus, most people are willing to support someone who's open about what they're going through.
Also, that Curious George book looks great. I can imagine it would lead to A LOT of counting, haha. But that's not such a bad thing.
There's a lot here. The heaviness. The pull of your beloved grandma and your beloved newsletter, your kiddos and hubby. So many plates that you're spinning.
Thinking of you. xxx
We love the Papi book--so many topics covered in only a few pages.
On a different note, lots of love to you and your family on what seems like a difficult time for you all. Remember to give yourself grace. I’m sure people will understand with whatever you choose to do with the newsletter given your circumstances.
Sarah, this appeared in my inbox on what would have been my dad's 96th birthday. A few years ago, we had to move him into an assisted living facility that was beautiful and great but also, for him, a huge change and a difficult one. Everything you describe in this newsletter resonates deeply with me, from wondering how to keep things going, to realizing that things must give, and helping to move your grandmother into her new home and dealing with all that remains in the home she lived in for all those years. You've had so much good advice and caring input from the others here so I will just say yes yes yes to all of them. Don't worry about your readers. We will not go anywhere. Especially when you take the time to write so beautifully and vulnerably about a time of life that we all go through and conflicts that face us all. I wish you peace and ease in the days ahead and I wish your grandmother peace and contentment in her new home.
I loved this sentence you wrote: “And because, frankly, I really love it when I see other people treating their energy as a precious and sacred resource, even if I am not at the point of doing that myself.” I feel similarly and I really hope you can take all the time you need.
Adding my voice to the chorus sending you love, appreciation, and support. I most trust writers who take time away when they need to. You clearly put so much into this newsletter, and we, your readers, can tell. There's no amount of time you can step away for that will reduce the value of what you do!
I don’t have much meaningful advice to add but just wanted to chime in with my support and admiration. Of your work and your openness, and also, of your grandmother (101!). She is so lucky to have you to help with this transition. I hope it all goes as well as it can :)
I just went through this in August, moving my grandmother from her house, where she has lived alone for more than 5 decades, to an assisted living facility, and it is exhausting and hard and brings up so many feelings. I am sending all my love to you, and let me know if there's anything I can do to support you. We are all here for you and encourage you to take a break when needed.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother, but you are doing the best for her, even though it is difficult for you and your family. Take care and take the time you need to do what you need to do. Most especially, also take time to take care of yourself so you are able to take care of others. I'll be thinking about you in the months to come.
Wishing you and your family the best.
Take good care, Sarah. We're cheering you on in life as well as in your newsletter endeavors.
Heart and hugs to you. This type of post is why I love reading your writing and I will support you no matter what you write about, and no matter how long you have to step away from writing because of life. (Or whatever form you cling to writing because of life.) I’ve watched (read) you create two beautiful bodies of work over time on Tiny Letter and Substack, and I have a lot of faith whatever comes of this year in your personal life, your grandma life, your work life - will weave itself into the shape of your writing to (and what you think you provide for us) in the exact way it is supposed to be. Take care of you. Rest through this exhausting transition (emotional and physical) and know we’re all here for you in whatever way you choose to show up (or take a break). Thank you for always sharing to vulnerably.