Yesterday in my Morning Pages, I listed all the things I have going on this week and then just stared at the page and cried a little. This used to be a phenomenon that came and went in my life — most weeks were fairly steady if not always serene, and only once every handful or so would there be intensity to this degree — but somehow, that pattern has reversed. More often than not now, when my alarm goes off, I roll out of bed to the floor, stretch, drink water, crawl up to my cozy chair and arrive at the page with the hamster of my brain already running full speed on its evil little wheel.
I feel like all I have said to my husband lately is, “I have so much to do,” and “I’m so tired,” ad infinitum. I think I may have reached the limits of my time and certainly my energy. Last week I fell asleep every night at 7:30pm (and once lying in the sunshine on my deck at 4pm!) — wherever I was, whatever I was doing. It was as if a spell overtook me, like in Disney’s Sleeping Beauty, when Flora, Fauna, and Merryweather put everyone in the castle to sleep after Aurora pricks her finger.
I didn’t stay asleep — every time, I had to open my eyes and keep going — but I don’t think I can take on any more.
But I am thisclose to finishing my book proposal — my agent made it look absolutely stunning and, a few days ago, when I held the printed pages in my hands, I felt a billowing energetic cloud of excitement engulf my entire body, a feeling that has been, up until now, suspiciously absent, as if someone else has somehow wrangled and written this proposal (with no clue how to actually do it), as if this is someone else’s handiwork, heart on the page. I think part of my exhaustion is simply the level of output required of me the last six months — almost entirely emotional, almost completely hidden from the internet, as some things should be.
In any case, I know I’m not alone in any of these feelings — I know many people are tired on an existential level, at best — and that this is (still) a wild and weird time to be a human on this big blue planet.
I’m glad we are, though — human, and alive. I’m glad we get the chance to grow and evolve and transform, however painful, however much we may resist. I’m glad we get to have a spiritual experience, in these bodies, whatever that means to each of us. I’m glad we keep trying.
May we all — may I, may you — keep trying.
Micro review: Genius Ears: A Curious Animal Compendium by Lena Anlauf, illustrated by Vitali Konstantinov (2024)
Let me tell you: Genius Ears by Lena Anlauf arrived at the right time. I’m listening to An Immense World: How Animal Senses Reveal the Hidden Realms Around Us by Ed Yong, and if I appreciated before this how incredible animals are — of how many things they experience and know that we can’t and don’t — I’m accessing a whole new level of awe.
Already a fan of Anlauf’s and Konstantinov’s work together — see my 2023 video micro review of their first in this series, Genius Noses — I was thrilled to see another excellent title from them.
This animal compendium focuses on the amazing functions of animal ears — the Long-Eared, Big-Eared, Tuft-Eared, Goblin-Eared, Hidden-Eared, Sometimes Red-Eared, and Faux-Eared. (They had me at the table of contents. Tell me absolutely everything about the goblin-eared of the world, Lena.)
Each page highlights a creature that uses their ears to do something freaking awesome (see images below).
I especially appreciate how this title, like its predescessor, covers animals both well-known (armadillo, wild donkey, lynx) and not (what the heck is a Gerenuk? You’re about to find out). And Konstantinov’s vibrant digital illustrations are not only informative and sometimes even funny, they make these fascinating beings come to life.
I wouldn’t necessarily read this aloud to my kiddos unless I was doing it a page at a time over many days, but that’s just how I roll. You could read this aloud, or leave lying about very casually and with the air of zero excitement whatsoever for your nonfiction-loving elementary- or middle-grade readers to stumble upon and pick up on their own.
It’s the kind of excellent title that one can pore over for a long time (ask me how I know…)
Read good books and take good care 😘
Sarah
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There aren't words to express how much reading your posts is the medicine we all need to be in human form at this time in existence.
You can do this, Sarah! I cannot wait to read your book.