(How) Can we read? Choosing good books

I originally published this post on October 8, 2021. I’ve edited it and updated it here.

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I didn’t start out knowing out to pick a great children’s book when I became a mother. I mean, I had the experience of being read to all the time as a child — I was a bookworm and I knew what I liked — and I have many fond memories of books I loved (I still have two shelves’ worth of titles I just can’t let go). But there was, of course, an entire world of children’s books I was unaware of at that point — it had been a solid 20 years between my childhood and my parenthood — and I definitely couldn’t have explained what made a book good, or worth reading.

Once my dad asked me if I staged this photo — I did not. This was common 2yo behavior.

One of the things some of you have asked me about behind the scenes of this newsletter is how to hone your taste when it comes to books for your kids — you know a bad book when you’re reading it (we have all suffered through those) but you don’t know where to begin to look for alternatives, or what, precisely, to look for.

Some of you also lament the books your kids pick at the library. I maintain that choice is the right of every reader, but…

These are two different issues but their root is the same: developing your own taste in children’s books and then helping the children in your life develop theirs. It is, at least somewhat, a matter of experience — the more books you read the more you will learn about which books to read, but there are some basic guidelines that can help.

I’ve framed these as Dos and Don’ts (that apply to fiction, nonfiction, poetry all the same) but there are not hard-and-fast rules by any means — merely a framework to help with decision-making.

Dos and Don’ts

DO pick books with beautiful language. Stand there, wherever you are, with the book in hand and read a few pages — doesn’t matter if they are at the beginning, in the middle, or at the end.

• Is the language interesting?

• Does it have engaging vocabulary words that don’t often come up in everyday conversation?

• Does the writing flow in a natural way, without feeling wooden, so that you could imagine reading it out loud? (Never one to care how I appear in a bookstore or at a library sale or basically anywhere else in public, sometimes I read a little out loud under my breath if I am unsure.)

• Does the story suck you in, even a little? (Better yet, does it suck you in a lot?)

DO pick books that are beautifully illustrated. Ask yourself:

• Are these images compelling? (Are they charming? Stunning? Funny? Action packed? Not all illustrations are the same, of course, but they should have some kind of spirit, regardless of the medium with which they were made or the subject matter they’re meant to depict. This might not make a ton of sense until you come across illustrations that feel flat, boring, or lifeless, and then you’ll know what I mean.)

• Would you like to look at this book if you couldn’t read the words on the page?

• Would you like to look at this book again and again if you end up reading it over and over?

DO pick books that are appropriate for the age group you’re reading to. If you expect a 2yo to sit and listen to a chapter book, it’s probably not going to happen — it doesn’t mean they aren’t interested in reading, it means you need to get yourself to the board book and picture book sections and hold onto that longer book for a few more years. (They’ll get there, I promise!)

DO consider the child in front of you: what are they interested in? What lights them up? Do they like stories, or do they prefer hearing about ideas and information? If they are into dragons, seek out dragon books. If they are into avocados, find titles singing the praises of avocados (they exist). You know your kiddo better than anyone else — use that knowledge!

DO consider introducing them to something a little outside their comfort zone. Dragons and avocados are amazing, they truly are, but there is a whole wide world beyond them. Help your child discover that world by looking for books that are, let’s say, interest-adjacent. On the mind map of dragons, one might draw a line to dinosaurs, another to fairies, another to King Arthur, another to folktales from any culture about mythical beasts. (This is where checking the categorical tags in your library’s database is invaluable.) There are also your interests — kids can feel it when their grownups genuinely love something for their own sake and are not just trying to trick them into, say, making one’s bed, not hitting one’s sister, or eating beets (not that those topics EVER come up in my house; nope). Find a picture book about something you are into and share that.

DO seek out books that connect reading to things already going on in your life. The possibilities are rich and, truly, endless. I wrote about this concept in depth in a long-ago post:

(How) Can we read? Strategies for raising readers

DO seek out books from authors that you already enjoy. If you like one book by a particular author, chances are good you’ll like another. Some libraries even have a “favorite authors” section in the children’s area (some examples from my own local library are Jan Brett, Marc Brown, Eric Carle, Tomie DePaola…) Those authors are amongst the most beloved of all time — and they are beloved because they write great books for kids! — so they’re a good place to start if you don’t know what to look for and/or you’re overwhelmed.

That’s also an excellent section to point out to your kids if you’re trying to steer them toward higher-quality picks at the library. This is becoming easier over time, as my children have gotten to know and fallen in love with certain authors. I usually just park my tired self on the floor in that section, start flipping through covers, and casually say, “Hey, did you see all these over here? Look at this one!” as I pull a Kevin Henkes/Patricia Polacco/Donald Crews book off the shelf with enthusiasm but also an air of zero you-know-whats given, because, at least in my experience, it could be a quadruple-scoop ice cream cone, but if I try to sell it too hard my children want nothing to do with it.

This is also the time to point out: if your kid already has an author they’re into, help them find more books by that author at the library. You might also be able to get away with suggested read-alikes — “Hey, you know how much you like your Robert Munsch books? This other author, Helen Lester, has stories that are like his.” If you don’t know any read-alikes, check to see if your library has access to an incredible database called NoveList K-8, or ask the children’s librarian or staff — this is where their knowledge and experience really come in handy (and they want to help!)

Now for the Don’ts:

DON’T settle. I’m gonna repeat that one because I vehemently believe in quitting ANY book you don’t like for ANY reason (I’m just following my own mother’s direction here — that there are too many good books in the world to waste time reading one you don’t like). If you’re regularly reading bad books with your child, stop.

And what do I mean by a “bad” book? I don’t mean ones you are tired of reading because your sweet toddler has brought it to you for the 51st time today demanding that you read it — those books you read and read and read some more until you think you might go mad, because your little one actually has a developmental need for that repetition, and if you want to raise a reader, this is what you do. I mean books that are: poorly written and/or illustrated, boring to you and your child, ones that you hate so much you can’t even fake it, anything that your kid doesn’t like (even if it’s a book that’s supposedly amazing, even if I recommended it!)

Which is a nice segue into:

DON’T try to force your kids to be interested in a book. Don’t force them to listen to you read aloud. Don’t force them to read. This is the fastest way to kill a love of reading. Between the ages of 1 day old and 110, reading should be fun and enjoyable, not a chore, not a box to tick, not something you do for edification of any kind, not even something to be done for reading practice.

DON’T reject what they pick out on their own, however much you dislike it or disagree with its quality or whatever the case may be (I know it’s hard. I know). Choice is the right of every reader, no matter their age, and this is a hill I’ll die on 100x over if that’s what it takes to convince you. This means if you go to the library and your children want to check out 17 Rainbow Magic books, you and me and every other long-suffering fairy-hating parent out there keep our opinions to ourselves, smile as we hand them the library card, and put a tally mark in the Win column for supporting our kids today. (You are doing a great job, by the way.)

Trust that taste breeds taste — the more good books you read to them, the more good books they will (eventually) pick themselves. And reading series books — Magic Tree House, DogMan, The Boxcar Children, yes, even Rainbow Magic, and whatever series you particularly hate — is momentarily painful, but a small long-term price to pay for raising children who love to read.

Lastly:

DON’T underestimate your children. This is a big one. You may think, “Poetry? My kids would never like that so I’m not even going to try.” Or, “She’ll never sit still for a chapter book,” or “He’s too old for picture books now.” I have one response to any/all of this: they may surprise you. Whatever idea you have, whatever wild book pick, just try it. This is pretty low stakes. The worst that can happen is that you’re right, in which case you move on and find something they will enjoy.

DON’T give up. The most important thing is to just keep reading!

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Today’s takeaways, or some things to consider:

• What do you like in a book? What type of story or information pulls you in? What kind of illustrations draw your eye?

• Do you know what type of books are age-appropriate for the child/ren in your life? If not, how could you find out?

• What is your kid interested in? Make a list of five things they’re into that you could share books about.

• What are you interested in that your child might enjoy reading about?

• Is there anything going on in your life right now, or coming up soon, that you could connect to reading?

• What are some of your family’s favorite authors?

• How well do you know the children’s section at your local library? How well do you know the children’s librarian and staff?

• Are there any titles in your children’s library that you are all just not into?

• Are there books (series or otherwise) that your kids love that you do not? Can you compromise, or come to some kind of agreement, about how often you are willing to read some of those?

• What is one thing — book, type of book — that you think your child won’t go for? What’s holding you back from trying it?

Hang in there and keep doing the work of raising readers, people — you are giving the children in your life an amazing gift.

Thanks for being here today, and always.
Sarah