(How) Can we read? Ask Me Anything
Did you already receive this post last week? Yes, yes, you did. I am juggling a lot right now 🤹♀️ — hence my trying to schedule this a week in advance — but I accidentally sent it out instead.
I’ve made it 3.5 years without messing up like this, and after about 3.5 minutes of panicking about it last Thursday, I decided: nope. Not gonna go down that pointless chute of self-recrimination (and doom, because isn’t that always where it leads?)
As Timmy Failure says: “Mistakes were made.” (I heart Timmy Failure.)
So if you have already read this, my apologies. If you missed it last week, here’s your chance to read it for the first time. (Sigh.)
Hi there 👋 Welcome to this AMA!
One of my favorite parts about writing this newsletter is interacting with all of you — in the comments, but also behind the scenes. I get emails, end up having some fantastic conversations, and often answer questions you have about your specific situations.
Let’s be clear: I’m not an expert, I just share honestly about my life and in this context, the ways in which I’ve very intentionally woven books and reading into my home and family routines. Everything that I say when I write back — and absolutely everything I write here — is only my experience, so your mileage may vary, of course. But it’s my hope that in doing so, I can give you new ideas, shift your perspective, or offer real support as you raise your own readers.
Thank you to everyone who submitted a question for me to answer — I had fun 😉
Liz asked:
For reading aloud, what tips or tricks do you have for conveying dialogue that’s not in speech bubbles? I’m not much one for voices …
It probably comes as no surprise to learn that I am one for voices, but I know it’s not for everyone, and there are certainly times when it’s not for me, either — like when reading a chapter book with a lot of characters, or reading a chapter book and then forgetting the voice I used for a specific character, or when reading a chapter book and I just don’t feel like doing voices, dang it.
My advice is two-fold: if you can bring yourself to alter your voice even slightly (for instance, if you’re reading dialogue from a child, you could pitch your voice just the tiniest bit higher without a lot of effort), that helps.
You can also slow down. I first learned about reading verrrrry slowwwwly at the end of a last line of a picture book, or the end of the last sentence in a chapter, from Mem Fox’s outstanding book, Reading Magic: Why Reading Aloud to Our Children Will Change Their Lives Forever, which I reviewed in Books for raising readers: Part 1.
Beyond that, though, is the practice of simply slowing down overall. Most people reading aloud do it way too quickly, and it can take time to train yourself to bring it down a notch — Sarah MacKenzie has an excellent podcast episode about this very thing — but it’s a worthwhile habit to work on for a variety of reasons, including making distinguishing dialogue easier on both you and your listener/s.
Darcy asked:
I’m currently reading aloud ‘Little Women’ to my eldest. There are many words and turns of phrase that she doesn’t understand. Do you have advice for how often I should stop to ask what she understands, ask if she knows the meaning of a word, etc.? Alternatively, do I just let her enjoy the reading and assume she’ll ask when she doesn’t understand? She does have a dictionary in her room, but we aren’t using it while we read (although we could). I treasure this time with her so I don’t want to make it too learning-focused, but I do want her to be following along.
This is an interesting question in that I think there are multiple answers that will likely vary based on personal preferences and desires, and none of them are “right.”
Since you asked me 😊: if this happens in my home — and I have certainly read books to my kids that are above their heads — I don’t check in during the reading process at all. If they have a question (and another and another, sometimes to the point where I have to pull up my patience from the soles of my feet), they definitely ask.
But I also pay attention to the energy coming off them — I can tell if they are bored, or their minds are wandering, or if they aren’t following a narrative — and I’m not even sure how I do this. When I notice that vibe, after we end our read-aloud time, I just ask directly: do you understand what’s happening in this story? Are you enjoying this?
My sense that they aren’t understanding is never wrong. Then we either talk about what’s happening, or more often, we abandon the book (maybe not forever, but at least for right now). I am wrong, sometimes, about whether or not they are bored — sometimes I will ask and they’ll vehemently deny it. (This happened after the first few nights of our read-aloud at the time I’m writing this, The Tale of Despereaux by Kate DiCamillo, which surprised me given how enduringly popular it is and how many times I’ve heard its praises sung from the rooftops. My children just didn’t seem into it, but they assured me they were, and we’ve continued.)
If waiting until the end of your reading time seems like too long to go without checking in with your daughter about her comprehension, then do it at the end of a scene, or when the story comes to a natural break (I wouldn’t, like, interrupt the action unless she interrupts, in which case you can pause at any moment). You’ll probably figure out quickly whether or not she’s following along.
For what it’s worth: kids can listen and understand at a much higher level than they can read, so it’s possible she’s right there with you and you just don’t know it. And if she’s not, maybe discussing what’s happening can be just as rich as the reading — after all, what we’re reading is important, but it never trumps the experience itself.
From Libby:
I have great aspirations of working our way through awesome bedtime chapter book read-alouds with my 7yo; however, we usually only make it a chapter or two into a new chapter book before she wants to return to the Diary of a Wimpy Kid series — her favorite comfort read of the last year plus. Is this a me problem, or do you have any book suggestions or other ideas that could help us?
I don’t think it’s a you-problem — you’re entitled not to love how this is playing out — but if it were me: I would just indulge the desire for Diary of a Wimpy Kid. As a parent, no doubt you’ve encountered behavior or preferences from your kid that defy logic or understanding but seem to provide some level of comfort or reassurance that you can’t exactly parse — this happens with books too. Even as adults, we go back to our comfort reads, be they specific titles or genres, when we need to. Who knows why Wimpy Kid does this for her, but it’s okay.
That said, if you feel like you’ve reached the point where you just cannot, for even one more night — that is also okay. I hit a wall — hard — with the Rainbow Magic series from Daisy Meadows about four years ago, where I knew, if I spent one more moment reading about Rachel Walker and Kirsty Tate and, more relevantly, Jack Frost, who rivals Fat Cat from Chip ‘n Dale: Rescue Rangers for complete lack of originality in his evil plots and schemes, I was going to lose it. So I just told my children, I am happy to read you anything you want, but I need a break from Rainbow Magic.
We took a break. We found other things to read. Once in a great while, they’d ask for another Rainbow Magic title and I’d indulge them and then we’d go right back to reading other things.
So maybe you tell her you need a break from Wimpy Kid, but give her some agency in choosing what to read instead. This could mean offering her some Wimpy Kid read-alikes. Here are a few suggestions:
Welcome to Wonderland series by Chris Grabenstein
Roller Girl by Victoria Jamieson
The Terrible Two series by Jory John and Mac Barnett
The Big Nate series by Lincoln Peirce
Max and the Midknights series by Lincoln Peirce
Jake the Fake series by Craig Robinson and Adam Mansbach
Marvin Redpost series by Louis Sachar
Wedgie & Gizmo series by Suzanne Selfors
Penny Draws series by Sara Shepard
Frazzled series by Booki Vivat
Stick Cat series by Tom Watson
It could also mean picking out a pile of chapter books you think might appeal to her, that you know appeal to you (this is how my kids and I pick our bedtime chapter book — we rotate whose pick it is, but I always come up with a pile of 2-3, sometimes 3-4 titles to pick from first, mostly because narrowing it down to one book out of the plethora of choices in our house is an overwhelming and time-consuming task).
I’m also curious: have you asked her why she wants to keep returning to Wimpy Kid? And what she likes about that book/series so much? Her answers might help more than anything I could say here.
From Molly:
My son is a visual learner, I think (he’s only 3), so he loves picture books and cartoons but seems confused by audio-only media. If I play music, he’ll ask to see my phone because in his mind there should be a video to go with it. How do you get kids into audiobooks? I’d never even heard of audiobooks for kids before I had my son.
The way I got my own kids into audiobooks was by giving them complete agency over the tools that deliver the audio — in fact, this was a question I addressed in my first (and only other) AMA, back in 2021, and I’m copying (and updating) some of my response here because the details are still relevant.
Audiobooks: where, what, when, and how?
My children have been listening to audiobooks since either of them could work a simple CD player. Emphasis on simple. (I bought this one when my eldest was 3yo, in 2017 — it lasted about two years. Then I purchased a wall-mountable one — they no longer carry the exact model — which is still going strong.) We have one in my children’s shared bedroom, used at any time during daylight hours (we did do audiobooks at bedtime for awhile until people made a great effort to stay awake to listen and ended up actually sleeping hours upon hours later than intended) and one in our adult bedroom, because when they do still take quiet time, they do so separately.
I know CDs are like, the Dark Ages of technology, but hear me out: they are dirt cheap now. I buy them new on Amazon, sometimes even used on Amazon (and have never received one that wasn’t in excellent condition), but far more often, I simply check out a pile of them from the library. They’re free and to the best of my knowledge, the library isn’t getting rid of their audiobook-on-CD collection anytime soon, so: win.
To drill down further on my thoughts about CDs, though: years ago I considered buying a wireless speaker through which we could stream audiobooks through Audible, Libby, hoopla, or various other platforms. Three things stopped me.
First, the library factor: I didn’t want to spend the money if I didn’t have to. (Libby and hoopla are free through our library; Audible is not.)
Second, I work hard to give my children as much agency as possible in all things, and they are much more able to understand and work a CD player on their own than a wireless speaker or some other technology (that I don't want them to have anyway — they have zero access to digital devices of any kind at home, and yes, this is still true years after I originally wrote this). Providing them a handful of choices of CDs also, I think, makes them feel like they are more in control as well as helps them understand, visually and physically, that this is another way to access stories besides books.
Third, I struggle with conveying the idea that anything you want comes magically right out of the phone, TV, computer — I want my kids to understand how to access information, whether that’s the amazing entertainment of audiobooks or the answer to a question about a tax form. So for me this is also about strengthening their inquiry muscles.
(The answer to, “Does Sarah overthink everything?” is YES.)
So, CD players.
But there are other excellent options: I’ve heard nothing but glowing endorsements about Yoto players. They look very cool, and they meet my whole “agency” + “mental connection to real things and information” criteria; I’ve just got something that works and have no intention of fixing what ain’t broke, etc.
In terms of how to get your son interested: just turn on an audiobook and see what happens. You might try this in the car, at first. (Driving is such a great time for listening.) And if you want to give him control, perhaps choosing the CD route, as opposed to streaming on a device, will help him understand that the audio doesn’t have a visual. (Or, the visual is the cover of the CD case.)
From Claudia:
What have you been reading (for you) lately? This can definitely include children's literature, but anything else too! Anything you highly recommend? I love to know what other people are reading!
Me too, Claudia — I am relentlessly nosy when it comes to what other people are reading, and it’s a major topic of conversation in my life, among my friends and family.
And I get asked this question a lot. I used to share, at the bottom of every Notes From the Reading Nook, my answer every week, but doing that made me feel super naked after awhile — you can tell a lot, almost everything really, about what I am thinking about, going through, and working to process by what I’m reading at any given time, and while I’m an open person, I found it made me feel so vulnerable, I just couldn’t do it anymore.
But I am happy to share some of what I’m reading. Here are some books I’ve enjoyed recently:
Children’s books:
Amphibian (DK Eyewitness) by Barry Clarke (I will never not love DK Eyewitness books)
What’s Inside a Caterpillar Cocoon?: And Other Questions About Moths & Butterflies by Rachel Ignotofsky (I reviewed this last week — it really is so good)
American Murderer: The Parasite That Haunted the South by Gail Jarrow (
, if you’re reading this, THIS BOOK WAS DISGUSTING — thank you 😆)World Without Fish by Mark Kurlanksky (this blew my mind so much I immediately rearranged my schedule to review it, coming next week)
Phoebe’s Diary by Phoebe Wahl (YA)
Cherry Moon: Little Poems Big Ideas Mindful of Nature by Zaro Weil
Grown-up books (whatever “grown-up” means, in this context or otherwise 😂):
Big Swiss by Jen Beagin
High Tide in Tucson: Essays From Now or Never by Barbara Kingsolver (audio)
Dinosaurs by Lydia Millet
Excavations by Kate Myers
What Happened to You?: Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing by Dr. Bruce Perry and Oprah Winfrey (audio; truly life-changing)
Keep it Moving: Lessons for the Rest of Your Life by Twyla Tharp
A Really Good Day: How Microdosing Made a Mega Difference in My Mood, My Marriage, and My Life by Ayelet Waldman
Collected Poems, 1957-1982 by Wendell Berry
Let me know if you enjoyed this AMA, because if so, maybe we’ll do it again sometime…
Sarah
P.S. All Bookshop.org links are affiliate ones
Belatedly checking in to say thank you for your helpful response! We are already knee-deep in the world of Big Nate now thanks to your recommendations. I appreciated your perspective on leaning into what makes Diary of a Wimpy Kid so appealing and going from there.